Wednesday, June 8, 2016

The Masked Crusader Is Sneezing A Lot: The Cottonwoods Are In Bloom and Hatchoo! God Bless Me

When I was in the Louisville Writing Project and early summer was upon us, the Ohio Valley punched me in the head, causing me to lay my head on a desk. Jean Wolph, the Director-extraordinaire, wet a cloth, put it in a microwave, and instructed me to put it on my face. It worked. Within an hour, my sinuses deflated some and I could concentrate to think.

Sue, a Louisville mom, bought me a mask while there that I'd keep in the fridge or sometimes put into warm water to put on my eyes during the most painful days. The crud that filters on Louisville is remarkable and I don't think anyone could experience worse allergies.

This year in Connecticut, however, there is pollen on everything. My car is covered, my windows are covered, and my head has been clogged. That is why when I saw a $1.99 sinus mask at Christmas Tree Shop, I reminisced my Kentucky days and thought, "You might want to grab one of these, Crandall." So, I did.

Yesterday, I noticed the cottonwoods were in bloom because there were white cobwebs on all cars and the streets were aligned with albino cotton candy. They cause my head to clog up the most. Knowing I don't want to wrestle with the Mucinex monsters, I came home to wear my Batman & Robin (Captain Ribbit) mask to ease the pressure in my head. I honestly think I should begin wearing this mask in my everyday attire. I just need a cape and a pair of tights. Wait, I have running tights. I may have the new look, indeed.

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