I said goodnight to Chitunga, did our ritual of appreciations and high fives, then immediately fell asleep. I was proud that I fell asleep so quickly, even though I knew he'd be up for another hour working on homework. I zonked out.
Here's what I didn't factor into the equation. My body is used to 6 hours of sleep (usually 1 a.m. - 7 a.m.), so falling asleep at 9 p.m. is great, except my internal clock began to ring at 3 a.m. - it was six hours, after all. I woke up wanting a bagel and coffee and was ready to tackle my day.
So, I did.
But there was no tackling this day, as I kept thinking, "Oi Vay. No way. You're kidding, right? Seriously? Um." and "$#$#." There are no words.
The Advil helped. Lots of water. A few walks. Yoga breathing and medication. Anything. Even prayer. Sometimes I wonder if there is any sense at all in anything I do or the world we are living in at this current moment.
By 10 p.m. last night when my last students finally finished talking to me (class ended at 9:15), I simply wanted to be home banging my head against the wall. There's a nervous energy in the world right now (well, at least in America...is this election-triggered anxiety). There's a lot of need right now and I'm trying to be rational and calm.
Hmmm. Rational and calm. Good goals.
I welcome you Wednesday. We're midweek. We got this. Better days are to come.