Revisiting A Theory About How and Why We are All Evolving Into ExtraTerrestrials (BRC Phone Home)

As a senior in high school, I became obsessed with the idea that one day I might be kidnapped by extraterrestrials and brought to another galaxy for experimentation. I read Whitley Strieber's Communion, and met a woman who worked at Estee Lauder in the mall (across from my shoe section) who convinced me that "her" species lived among human beings and they were scientists making observations on primitive forms of themselves. She said that we were planted on Earth so that her kind could study the evolutionary process of how they came to be. It sounded intriguing, and I began to think that as we became more and more hooked behind screens, we would likely develop larger brains and bigger eyes. We wouldn't need ears or noses as much, as our futuristic selves would rely on visual stimulation.

I feel like I'm turning into an alien now.

I wake up, am behind screen, go to work, get behind more screen, come home, and return to more screens, and go to bed thinking about the screens I've been behind all day. It is constant light being thrown at my brown eyes and when I look away, I see stars and flashing lights.

After 14 hours, though, I begin to get batty. So much font, so much text, so much illuminated communication and processing of the world. It has taken over way too much - even beyond the ways of yesteryear when I first came up with my harebrained hypothesis.

Still, I do believe there's the chance that I might one day be beamed up to another world for questioning, and after Tuesday's election, I am thinking it might be a good day to take me away. Depending on the results, I might be able to say, "Here's what I think happened - here's where this particular experiment of earlier versions of ourselves truly failed. It's all random, and no one could have predicted this year's election, but there's much to be learned by the behaviors of human beings in the freest nation on our planet. We tried. We really, really did try. But in the end, we're animals. I'm sure you already knew this."

Then they can inject me with a serum and toss me to the side (or I can visit my friend, Charlie, who had experiences with anal probing back when I lived in Kentucky).